Women Have to Learn How to Orgasm

Posted: 27/05/2009 |Comments: 0 | Views: 1,153 |

Getting sex in perspective, very few women talk confidently either about the joys or the difficulties associated with orgasm. The vast majority are silent so it is difficult to know what they think. It would be nice to imagine that at least some are quietly getting on with it; too busy doing to be talking about it.

Sadly, given that most women are shocked by any mention of explicit sexual activity, I question how many explore sex beyond the basics. It seems more likely that women say nothing because their sexual experiences are not as sensational as we'd like to hope.

In the film 'Shirley Valentine', Pauline Collins plays Shirley, a middle-aged housewife. Shirley comments: "I'm not particularly fond of it - sex. I think sex is like supermarkets, you know, overrated. Just a lot of pushing and shoving and you still come out with very little in the end." (Note: this film was set in the days before supermarkets sold everything from microwaves to mobile phones!)

"Many women wonder if their lack of orgasms is due to some underlying emotional or psychological problem. However, this is usually not the case at all. Frequently, not having an orgasm is simply due to unfavourable circumstances, or lack of understanding about how to achieve personal sexual pleasure." (p13 Dictionary of Sexual Terms 1992)

Shirley reminisces about a conversation where one of her friends comments on their youth: "In those days everyone thought it was a case of - in out, in out, shake it all about. Stars would light up the skies and the earth would tremble." Shirley laughs at the ignorance of her generation of men who were unaware of the importance of the clitoris and the fact that clitoral stimulation is required for a woman to orgasm.

Modern hopes for fantasy sex

There is an implication that younger generations of women expect to have orgasms from sex either through female masturbation or with the assistance of a more knowledgeable lover. It is assumed that men in more modern times are well-informed about foreplay techniques as well as positions and techniques for sexual intercourse.

Shirley comments: "They think they know it all - the clitoris kids I call them!" We may have more knowledge today but our expectations are correspondingly higher. Young women often don't know how to have an orgasm until they try masturbation and learn how to use a vibrator to discover orgasm. Some women find transferring orgasm techniques to sex more difficult.

Women of an older generation often mistakenly assume that younger women have perfect sex lives simply because they live with a man before marriage. That's just like assuming that all married women enjoy sex. Otherwise why would they be married? It is evident that women seek relationships with men for reasons other than the 'success' of a sexual relationship.

The Go Ask Alice! website admits not only that there is nothing easy or automatic about women reaching orgasm during intercourse but also that only some women learn how to do this. They advise young people that some women learn how to orgasm during intercourse with practice.

" In reality, the more sexually active you are, the more likely you are to masturbate, regardless of whether you do or don't have a partner. ... Of the women who have discovered its joys, virtually all can masturbate to orgasm ...

On the opposite side, if you're a female who has never masturbated, statistics indicate it's quite likely you've never had an orgasm in your life. Pretty strong support for solo sex! The truth is good girls do do it and if you never have and won't try, give up now on ever having a fulfilling sex life.

Masturbation is a sure way (and often the only way) to discover what turns you on sexually, and unless you know how to excite yourself, you've got zero chance of telling your partner how to." (p2 Hot Sex 1998)

Jane Thomas: Author http://WaysWomenOrgasm.org and http://Nosper.com

WaysWomenOrgasm.org aims to inform and reassure women of all ages: both the site content and pictures are completely clean. The discussion is based on honesty not sexual ego and covers: sex drive, the role of fantasy and why orgasm from masturbation may always be different to orgasm from penetration.

Rate this Article
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 0 vote(s)
    Feedback
    Print
    Re-Publish
    Article Source: http://www.absexuality.com/sexuality-articles/women-have-to-learn-how-to-orgasm-940150.html

    Discuss this Article

    Jane Thomas

    When they talk about their sexual relationships with men, women will often refer to love, trust and commitment. These factors are obviously important for the stability of long-term relationships that family life depends on. But they are not factors that will help a woman learn how to enjoy orgasm during sex.

    By: Jane Thomasl Sexualityl 17/11/2009 lViews: 218

    Do you want to know about Female Orgasm Guide Review? Do you be prepared to find out more regarding the credibility of Susan Johnsson & Paul Tony? Or perhaps is Female Orgasm Guide Scam or genuine product? You will find the answers within this honest review!

    By: Philipe Reviewl Sexualityl 12/04/2011 lViews: 132

    Pleasure Your Women Better Female Orgasm Better Orgasms

    By: Keith Vancampl Sexualityl 29/04/2010 lViews: 17

    How To Give Her An Orgasm Video Give Female Orgasm A Woman Orgasm

    By: Keith Vancampl Sexualityl 28/04/2010 lViews: 74

    How To Give Her Orgasm Libido Women Best Female Orgasm

    By: Keith Vancampl Sexualityl 28/04/2010

    Whether the female orgasm medically exists or does not exist had been a very hotly contested issue among medical professionals but the former has been proven to be true in recent times. Since it has been medically established that the female orgasm exists, the problem and point of argument now shifted to how to exactly and consistently give a woman this much desired orgasm.

    By: M.J Scottl Sexualityl 10/10/2009 lViews: 163

    It is this lack of knowledge that has led to many women to come away from sexual experiences unsatisfied because a partner is unable to properly arouse their lover and the women cannot ever reach orgasm. Once a partner has learnt to arouse a woman properly the time to giving women orgasms is fairly quick and that includes multiple orgasms.

    By: conan edogawal Sexualityl 15/04/2011 lViews: 82

    Most women described two parts of the orgasm: the physical and the psychological sensations. Physically, many women feel pleasant contractions throughout their pelvic region. These contractions are caused by the blood returning to the body and the blood vessels narrowing again. One woman described these contractions as “ripples of pleasure.” While the physical sensation seems to be wonderful, many of the women I've worked with paid more attention to the psychological sensation. Immediately after the orgasm, women report feeling completely relaxed and stress free as if all of the tension in their body has suddenly been released. They also talk about overwhelming feelings of peacefulness. In fact, many women claim that orgasms help them to get a more restful night of sleep, particularly when stress has been interfering with their sleep patterns.

    By: Alexl Sexualityl 08/07/2007 lViews: 772
    Muhammad Azeem Ashraf

    Orgasm during sexual intercourse can be aided by female orgasm enhancement capsules. Natural ingredients found in female orgasm enhancement capsules prove to be more effective in enhancing female sex drive and orgasms.

    By: Muhammad Azeem Ashrafl Sexualityl 12/07/2010 lViews: 188
    John Dugan

    A red, sore, itchy penis could be a sign of balanitis. Here's what to do about this uncomfortable and embarrassing condition.

    By: John Duganl Sexualityl 24/11/2014 lViews: 24
    John Dugan

    When a man is preparing to travel, he doesn't want to bother with an itchy penis. The occasional scratch is fine, but no man wants to be constantly tugging at the groin while vacationing.

    By: John Duganl Sexualityl 24/11/2014 lViews: 12
    John Dugan

    Men with diabetes are particularly susceptible to certain penis health problems. Learn about three of them here.

    By: John Duganl Sexualityl 23/11/2014 lViews: 33
    John Dugan

    Can what's playing in the background influence whether one has better sex? Mood music can facilitate a seduction or help increase the intensity of a sexual encounter.

    By: John Duganl Sexualityl 22/11/2014 lViews: 14
    John Dugan

    Some causes of an itchy penis are contagious. This article looks at two causes of penile itch that spread easily.

    By: John Duganl Sexualityl 22/11/2014
    John Dugan

    Is a red penis cause for a man to worry? Sometimes the redness can be normal, but at other times it may require a man's care and attention.

    By: John Duganl Sexualityl 21/11/2014
    John Dugan

    A man's personal care products can negatively impact his penis health. Find out more about the common, everyday items that can cause a sore penis.

    By: John Duganl Sexualityl 21/11/2014 lViews: 12
    John Dugan

    One man shares his story of developing a red penis after getting a lap dance. What could have caused it? What did he do to fix it? Find out.

    By: John Duganl Sexualityl 20/11/2014 lViews: 16
    Jane Thomas

    Men naturally focus on the vagina given their sex drive to penetrate a lover. However (if they want to experience orgasm) women need continual clitoral stimulation up until the point of climax (but no longer).

    By: Jane Thomasl Sexuality> Better Sexl 14/01/2014 lViews: 128
    Jane Thomas

    The easiest way for a woman to experience orgasm is through masturbation alone. It is only later in life that a woman may climax with a lover who is dedicated to pleasuring her by learning how to stimulate the clitoris correctly.

    By: Jane Thomasl Sexuality> Better Sexl 14/01/2014 lViews: 41
    Jane Thomas

    Women are much slower to arouse with a lover than when they masturbate alone. A woman needs a lover who is not distracted by their own arousal and who can stimulate her for long enough for orgasm to be possible.

    By: Jane Thomasl Sexuality> Better Sexl 14/01/2014 lViews: 25
    Jane Thomas

    Everyone today is convinced that every woman has an orgasm every time she engages in sexual activity. Yet amazing very few women are willing to talk about orgasm unless they work in the sex industry and are promoting either their business or themselves.

    By: Jane Thomasl Sexuality> Better Sexl 14/01/2014 lViews: 14
    Jane Thomas

    Intercourse is a sexual act that is determined from start (erection) to finish (ejaculation) by male responses. If intercourse could truly stimulate a woman to orgasm she would have to engineer the timing of her orgasm to coincide exactly with her partner's every time.

    By: Jane Thomasl Sexuality> Better Sexl 14/01/2014 lViews: 27
    Jane Thomas

    Today women are assumed to experience 'sex drive' because of the modern drive for sexual equality. But we more commonly talk about women feeling 'sexually desirable' which refers to a woman's attractiveness to men rather than her ability to achieve orgasm.

    By: Jane Thomasl Sexuality> Better Sexl 14/01/2014
    Jane Thomas

    Men naturally assume that anyone's sexuality must be defined in terms of orgasm. But women never need to experience orgasm either to reproduce or to enjoy sexual pleasure with a lover, so orgasm is not a necessary (inevitable) aspect of women's sexuality.

    By: Jane Thomasl Sexuality> Better Sexl 02/12/2013
    Jane Thomas

    Men naturally assume that women experience orgasm as easily as they do and hence that women have the same focus on orgasm during sex. The confusion over the anatomy involved in female orgasm and women's lack of appreciation for erotic turn-ons is clear evidence that women engage in sexual activity, both alone and with a lover, without ever necessarily aiming for orgasm.

    By: Jane Thomasl Sexuality> Better Sexl 02/12/2013 lViews: 68
    Author Box
    Articles Categories
    Quantcast