The Questions Guys Have Always Secretly Wanted to Ask Girls

Do Girls Secretly like Anal Sex?

Okay, hang on a second. If we liked it, why would we keep that a secret? Do we pretend not to like oral sex? No, we're pretty open about the things we want more of. Anal sex is generally not one of them. That said, some girls do like anal sex. But don't make an uneducated guess and then go careering in there: if she's up for it she'll let you know.

Are there any Chat Up lines that Actually Work?

Apart from 'Would you like a lift home in my yacht?' you mean? No. Maybe not even that one.

How Do I know whether a Girl who's Flirting with me is Really Interested in Me?

If she's flirting with you, she probably is interested in you. The trick, though, is to figure out whether she's flirting with you or with someone else. She may be telling you her wittiest jokes and fluttering her lashes, but directing her show-off behavior elsewhere. Watch her eyes. Is she maintaining eye contact with you or does she glance at another guy from time to time? It's called flirting by proxy: not wanting to look as though she's throwing herself at the man she actually fancies, she works hard to make it appear that you are enthralled with her, hoping he'll take some interest.

Of course, she may not be flirting at all. It may be that she's just being nice. Flirting comes with body language such as twiddling her hair, leaning in to touch you or touching her mouth. Smiling or laughing at your jokes is probably not enough for you to think she's after you.

Why do Women Wear Makeup to look Natural? Doesn't that defeat the Purpose?

It takes a lot of work to look natural. Natural, that is, in the way Jessica Alba looked in Into The Blue. If the word 'natural' makes you think of a dewy-complexioned girl with tousled hair, then we're sorry to say you're part of the problem. To look 'natural', it takes a foundation that covers spots and pigmentation flaws - not easy to find or to apply. And a blusher that makes you look as though you've just been for a short jog and got a bit of a healthy glow - also not easy to find or apply. Then your lips shouldn't look as though they've had color applied to them but should look healthy, moist and girlishly pink.

Looking natural is harder, in fact, than looking made-up. The real natural - that is, with no makeup - often means cracked lips, dark rings under the eyes, spots, pale cheeks and scraggly hair. You wouldn't like that any more than we would.

Why do Girls go to the Bathroom in Groups?

To talk about you: We can't do that in front of you. And we do talk about you. There is a fair chance that your girlfriend's mates know more about you than you do. The need to talk about you is heightened when you are new on the scene and your words and behavior need interpreting: 'What do you think he meant when he said he liked my shoes? Was he looking at my legs, or is he gay?' You know, that sort of thing.

To share makeup: Yes, we may each have our own but the lip gloss in the other handbag is always shinier. It's also handy to have a friend around to help in case of a hairstyle that won't cooperate.

There's safety in numbers: A girl surrounded by friends on her way to the bathroom is more easily rescued from a middle-aged drunk trying to hit on her.

Just so you know, we don't actually go into toilet cubicles together. The group activities are reserved for around the mirror. Men's bathrooms aren't really designed for interaction. If you don't keep your eyes straight ahead, you risk being labeled a peeper. So you don't chat. We get that. We're okay with it.

Why do you own a 20x Magnification Mirror so you can Squeeze Spots that are Invisible to the Naked Eye?

Grooming is a habit most animals share. It has its evolutionary basis in staying hygienic and free from disease. Birds nibble at their feathers even though they look pretty clean to us; chimpanzees pick fleas off one another. (Which is why, once we've known you long enough, we may try to squeeze your spot or take out our tweezers to sort out your eyebrows.) When we pick at our skin we're giving in to an ancient biological urge. We're not sure when you lost interest in detailed cleaning. We think it might have happened during the rugby.

What's the Worst thing a Guy Could do During Sex?

There are, in fact, many 'worst' things a guy could do during sex. Going offside without any warning is never good. (And, no, we don't believe it was an accident.) Calling her the wrong name is also not good. Especially if the name you called her was of the male variety. While doing her doggy style. Ejaculating in her mouth without any warning is not great. Ejaculating in her eye without warning is even worse.

Do Girls have a Preference: Circumcised vs Uncircumcised?

Many medical practitioners consider a circumcised penis to be easier to clean. We like clean. And, in all honesty, there is something slightly better-looking about a penis that has been chopped. But when it comes to sex, it really doesn't make a difference - especially once your guy has been wrapped up in a condom! This is one question you boys shouldn't worry yourselves too much about. We're more likely to be looking at length than how it is or isn't cloaked. Which leads us to the next question....

Can a Guy be too Big?

Yes. There, we've said it. Girls have been known to place a 'No room at the inn' sign down there after being blind-sided by a giant erection. But if you know how to use it you can make it work - no matter what your size. (Our bodies are capable of pushing 3kg babies through that passageway. Trust us, no guy could ever be that big). So if you are generously endowed, be gentle with your woman. The first time you have sex, don't just spring it out of your tighty whities - move your clothed body against her so that she knows what she's getting herself into. Make sure she's well lubricated. No, really well lubricated. Then move into her softly and slowly. Take your time. You'll soon feel her relaxing.

Is Sexy Lingerie Uncomfortable?

Imagine a swollen piece of dental floss riding between your bum cheeks all day long. Now ask us that question again. Yes, sexy lingerie is uncomfortable. Not all the time. But a lot of the time. The aforementioned G-string is just one example. That lace camisole-and-briefs set you so enjoy seeing us in? Guess what? Lace scratches. That suspender belt we wear discreetly under our skirt while living out your naughty-librarian fantasy? The clips dig into our skin when we sit. But, despite the discomfort, sexy lingerie makes us feel... well, sexy. So we continue to wear it. Just maybe not as often as you'd like.

Why do Women Expect us to 'Make the First Move'?

Because our mothers told us that, deep down, men are hunters and that the very notion of the prey stalking him might scare that big brave predator and cause him to scuttle off for the shelter of his cave.

Also, because of the book He's Just Not That Into You (Simon Spotlight Entertainment). The theory goes that if a guy is interested in a girl, he'll pounce. Sooner rather than later.
And because of our history: if we like you we want it to work and making the first move might not have worked the last time we tried, because of the reasons we've explained above.Why do Women Obsess over Something as Insignificant as Eyebrows?

If eyes are the windows to the soul, the eyebrows are the ... Tuscan shutters? No, wait. That came out wrong. Let's just say eyebrows are not insignificant. They are hugely important. We pluck our eyebrows to shape them perfectly to complement our eye and face shape. We pencil them in so that they appear slightly darker and thus more dramatic. It makes perfect sense to us. What's the problem?

Why do Women get Angry with us After they've Dreamt that we did Something Wrong?

A pre-emptive strike may make you think twice before you do something unworthy of both of us, the next time you're out with those reprobates you call your friends in some sordid lap-dancing club.

How Much do a Man's Looks Really Matter to a Woman?

It depends. If we're looking for bedroom exercise, we won't say no to rugged good looks. But when choosing The Real Thing we tend to go for someone we feel confident and comfortable with. So, if you're so good-looking that we fear you won't stick around, we might call you a Ken doll to our friends and choose someone who thinks we are extremely hot.

Are Girls Uncomfortable with Dirty Talk?

If you're good at it, you might be pleasantly surprised at the response. But can you afford to take the risk? Get it wrong and we might laugh out loud ... or hit you. (Bad wrong - as opposed to funny wrong - involves anything to do with our mothers, misogyny, violence or... pets.)

Why do Girls Stay Friends with Girls they don't Trust?

We believe in the sisterhood and we hope for the best with our boyfriends. It takes us a while to believe that their motives may not be honorable.