Polyamory Is More Natural Than Monogamy!

Posted: 14/07/2010 |Comments: 0 | Views: 208 |

Before I start this article, incase some people are unclear of the definitions of these lifestyles, Monogamy means you have a relationship and sex with one person, Polyamory means you have a main partner, usually a wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend, but you have sexual relationships with other people.

Some people think that Monogamy is the most natural sexual lifestyle among human beings. I strongly disagree, and here are the many reasons why. Sex is one of the strongest, most natural human desires and instincts. Not only is it essential to the reproduction of life, but it's essential to our own happiness and gratification, it's how we show love and desire for someone, and how we satisfy that sexual desire we have about ourselves. Humans were made to have sex, it is in our nature to want to have sex with each other, that's just the way it is, and it cannot be changed because you can't change nature. You can't make the river flow backwards, you can't make the Earth stop spinning, and you can't stop human sexuality. So there's no need to be ashamed of it, mostly everyone loves it and desires it, it's just that our society has taught people to be ashamed of it, and so many people don't admit to it. So be proud of it and accept it, it's nothing to be ashamed of so long as it's between legally consenting people.

Now, getting to the sexual lifestyles of human beings, Polyamory and Monogamy. Which is more natural. When we consider the unbelievably high rate of cheating and the fact that many more Monogamous relationships end in failure than Polyamorous ones, we have to ask ourselves, is Monogamy realistic? I have seen many relationships who have tried to be Monogamous and failed, because the boyfriend or husband, girlfriend or wife, or both, have to have relations with other people, they desire so badly to have sex with other people. If Monogamy is natural, why are we still attracted to so many people even when we are with someone? Now just because we want other people does not mean we don't love the person we're with. Of all the cases I have seen where cheaters get caught, they always try to keep the person they cheated on. If they were having so much fun with other people, why try so desperately to keep the one they don't even love?

So what is the problem? The problem is that Monogamy is not in human nature for the most part. Monogamy is not a natural lifestyle, it is a taught and learned lifestyle. Polyamory is far more natural in human nature. The reason you have a desire to have sex with people other than your mate or spouse, whether you admit it or not, is simple. No matter how much we are taught to be Monogamous, our human nature cannot be routed by any amount of words, and so we give in to that human nature because it's a natural process. We are taught in this Judeo-Christian culture that Polyamory is an evil, "sinful" horrible thing. And that's one reason why Christianity fails in human sexuality, because Christianity so foolishly tries to route human nature, and that can't happen. Sex is not a "sin," saying that it is is simply an attempt to control human beings by controlling their basic human instincts and desires, because if you can control those things, you can control the person themselves.

In our society, if we taught people to be more comfortable with Polyamory, and not try to teach people that Monogamy is the ONLY way and that if you're not Monogamous you're a horrible person, I think we'd see a lot less cheating, probably because most relationships would become Polyamorous relationships. You can have more than one person and love only one, you don't have to sacrifice your desires. And this would greatly lower the number of cheating cases. Whether they admit it or not, you may have a person in a Monogamous relationship who truly loves the person they're with, but in their minds they have desires for other people, perhaps someome they've met, or know at work, etc. They want this person so bad. Now just because they suppress that desire and don't act on it does not mean they don't have a Polyamorous nature. They still have it, they are just suppressing it and remaining in misery.

I think that, by and large, human beings are more Polyamorous than Monogamous. I think that's why we see so many cases of cheating. People try to suppress that Polyamorous nature, and it eventually gets to a point where they can no longer do it. If you want to be Polyamorous, you must first admit that to your partner. If you try to suppress it, it's only going to lead to a later conflict within your relationship. If your partner is not alright with you being Polyamorous, then you need to find someone who is or who is Polyamorous as well, because you won't be happy. If you're staying in a relationship where someone is making you be something you don't want to be, you'll be miserable.

When my fiancee and I first got together, I know I wanted to be Polyamorous, but I played it off as if I wanted to be Monogamous because I wanted to make her happy. I love her and I wanted to do what was necessary to keep our relationship together and to keep her. But the problem is that I could not suppress that nature. There eventually developed a lot of dishonesty and distrust within our relationship and it threatened to break us up. But once we sat down and talked about it and decided to be open minded, we came to terms with it and accepted it, and even she became Polyamorous as well. And our relationship has been so much better for it. We are still together and love each other very much.

You might be surprised at the true nature that comes from your partner. If you want more than one person, trust me, there are many people out there who love such a lifestyle. Don't give up your true will and nature, you'll be happier when you fulfill it.

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