3 Top Secrets On How To Solve And Avoid Conflict Between Lovers

Posted: 29/09/2008 |Comments: 0 | Views: 10,034 |

There are a lot of tips and ideas on how to make a relationship successful. Even lovers who have been with someone for the longest period of time have a lot to share on how to maintain a healthy relationship.

They will definitely be not the people who will say that a good relationship means there are no conflicts at all. In fact, disagreements may be the only element that can spice up a relationship. However, there are conflicts that can lead to extreme disputes, building on to hatred then becoming enemies. These are the types of differences that lovers should avoid to save the relationship they have invested time and effort on.

Basically, handling conflicts wisely comes with age and wisdom. But even the young lovers of today can learn from one principle wherein they can spare themselves from sheer depression of heartbrokenness. The one main ingredient is no other than mutual compromise.

Mutual compromise means that both parties should learn how to listen and give in to any thoughts his or her lover might have. Disagreements developed because each wants to prove that he or she is right and the other one is wrong. But the sad fact is the truth they both possess is subjective. It is right at some point and wrong at some. The invisible cause actually comes from the selfishness to give in. Compromise emphasizes on both parties actually competing to be lowly instead of competing to be above each other. Being lowly does not mean becoming a doormat. A doormat means somebody who is ignorant of his personal values. These are the types of people who do not have a backbone with regards to social and personal ethics.
The virtue of compromise is practiced by those who completely understand and respect themselves, and knows exactly what his principles are. They are the people who can readily give respect to others because they already feel completely secured in themselves. As a result they possess the ability to give the best to others. When it comes to conflicts and points of disagreements in a relationship, they would voluntarily choose to control their ego first, prefer to listen to a point made by their partners and dismiss the idea of being the boss.

Below are thoughts on how to mutually compromise with your lover so as to avoid unresolved conflicts in the future:

1. Settle your insecurities

Prevention is better than cure. Before one engages in a relationship get into lifestyle check. Be honest to accept your insecurities earlier so as to spare both and your partner unnecessary conflicts in the relationship. Romance and relationship is designed for both partners to be able to grow together in a healthy and physical way and not to suffer.

If you are already in a relationship, you can still do the same and reflect on yourself. Remember conflicts arise because both parties are at fault. And most of the annoyance and irritations primarily comes from not being secured of oneself and initially throws the blame to others. It is not more on external issues actually.

2. Practice and accept humility

Every experience in life is an opportunity to understand that no one is above anybody else. Most individuals fail to understand the fact that each has his own because they refuse to accept their limitations. They keep on believing that the world belongs to them.

When reality sinks in that they are not the only people who live in this world, they become confused and taken off-guard. They get annoyed that they are not in control. One way to avoid conflict is to acknowledge that everybody can be right at times or everybody can be wrong most of the times, including oneself.

3. Give the benefit of the doubt

Whenever your ideals and expectations of your partner are devastated, think that that there are one hundred one ways to kill a cat. What you will involuntary think may not be actually the reason at all. Humans tend to doubt a character easily especially when it comes to putting someone down, let alone a lover.

Jealousy will augment the irritation and annoyance. Before you flare up and make hurting conclusions to your partner, push the red button and warn yourself that what you are thinking may not be the real one. Give your partner a chance to justify his side. Your sincerity and patience will move him to be honest whatever the case may be.

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