Sexless Christian Marriage: Are You Trapped in One?
If you were to believe movie marriages, you would think that most couples have sex whenever and however they please. But, you're a Christian -- and despite the Bible's directive that a Christian couple shouldn't withhold sex from each other -- you suspect that you're trapped in a sexless marriage.
What are the signs of a sexless Christian marriage?
Sex is a commodity that you rarely see.
You may yearn for what you see in the movies and how happy marriages are portrayed in the Bible. If only that could be yours. The first sign of a sexless marriage is that, well, you don't have sex. Or, if you do, it is so infrequent that you think it may have gone out of fashion, as far as your spouse is concerned. Once a week is great. Once a month is alright. Once every six months, well, something's going on there. Or not, actually.
Sex is a weapon for manipulation or control.
In your relationship, your spouse may use sex as a weapon. What I mean by that is that he or she refuses to have sex if you do something or say something that they don't like. You get into an argument, have a disagreement or difference of opinion, or something happens that is undesirable and your spouse refuses to be sexually intimate with you. A different side of the same coin is that your spouse uses the Bible to demand sex from you. Your spouse says that he or she should have it because the Bible says it: God tells us that you shouldn't withhold sex from each other, except for times of prayer. Or, that you should submit to your husband (or wife) by doing what he or she says regarding sex.
You're afraid you're no longer attracted to your spouse.
In many sexless marriages, one or both partners are no longer attracted to one another, for whatever reason. You may have grown so incredibly tired of constantly being rejected by your partner when it comes to sex that you've just stopped asking for it or hoping that it would ever happen. And despite the Bible's admonishment to stay faithful to your wife or husband and to resist temptation, you may think that those options don't look so bad, at least for you. After all, you're not having sex, the attraction has waned, and your spouse uses sex to attempt to control you. You're probably thinking that there's got to be something better than this. And you'd be right.
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