Sexual Innuendos and Other Funny Dating Advice

Posted: 18/06/2008 |Comments: 0 | Views: 22,391 |

Here's a little mini-course on how to be funny:

First, go read Comedy Writing Secrets by Melvin Helitzer. And while you're at it, watch some good stand up comedy routines like Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy, and Robin Williams. Listen to how they use word play, double meanings, exaggeration, and misinterpretation to create humor.

It's time to get yourself a set of standard things that you can say in some of the most common situations.

Here's a list that I use personally and examples of instances when you can use them:

1. Whenever someone has an emotional response to something, say, "How do you REALLY feel about it?" For instance, if a woman says, "I just HATE it when people smoke around me!" say, "How do you REALLY feel about it?" The sarcasm is that they've shown that they have VERY strong feelings, so the "How do you REALLY feel" creates a joke on them that they're overly emotional.

2. Say, "Anyway" and look away quickly after making a wisecrack. For instance, if someone says, "That girl over there is ugly" say, "Oh, I thought she was you – anyway" (look away quickly). The looking away and quick "Anyway" (trying to get off the topic) creates a funny moment.
3. Misinterpret what women say. Always listen for opportunities to misinterpret words. If you say, "Let's go over to the bar to have a drink" and the woman says, "Let's do it", turn to her and say, "Let's do it? You mean right here? I think the line for a bathroom stall is too long, and I'd rather have a drink."

4. Look for sexual innuendo in everything and use it to accuse her of trying to seduce you before you even know her. If she says, "Well, I'm getting tired, and I think it's time for bed", say, "Bed? I mean, I don't even know if you know how to kiss... and you're trying to get me into bed? What happened to the old days when you could be friends first?"

5. Exaggerate. If an overweight woman walks by, say, "What would you guess? 900 pounds?" Or if a woman complains about a part of her body or her clothing (I love these opportunities), exaggerate it. For instance, if she says, "My hair looks like hell today", you say, "I didn't want to say anything." Ohhhh this is funny stuff. You'll usually get a hit on the arm (in which case you can spank her on the ass). Then you can go on all night making fun of her hair, talking about how everyone is looking at it, how you're embarrassed to be seen with her because of it, etc.

6. Connect things around you to current affairs in a funny way. If a woman with a huge butt walks by, say, "Hey, Jennifer Lopez is in the house." If a woman starts talking about how she just bought herself a new car, say, "I like the effect that the Independent Woman song is having on you." (These are, of course, currently funny. Next year, it will be a different set of things.)

7. Don't smile too much and don't laugh at your own jokes very often. When you smile or laugh, it releases the tension. If you can keep a straight face, the joke stays funnier longer.

OK, there's a list of basic things that I've learned regarding humor. I'd recommend that you start studying humor, read books about it, go to comedy clubs, and learn more advanced skills.

Also, start reading Maxim and Stuff magazines. Read how they always use reversal humor. This is some good funny stuff.

Rate this Article
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 0 vote(s)
    Feedback
    Print
    Re-Publish
    Article Source: http://www.absexuality.com/dating-articles/sexual-innuendos-and-other-funny-dating-advice-453157.html

    Discuss this Article

    Advice on intimacy and sex for women from a male perspective, excerpted from: www.datingadvice.us, a dating advice site exclusively designed for women.

    By: Larry Danksl Sexualityl 19/07/2007 lViews: 300

    Sex Tips And Techniques Advice Dating Internet Dating Sites Tips For Meeting

    By: Ryan Langlyl Sexualityl 24/04/2010

    Bigger Free Make Penis Enlarge Your Penis Exercises For Free Free Dating Advice Tips

    By: Ryan Langlyl Sexualityl 24/04/2010 lViews: 17

    A long time ago a man got an idea that if he pulled on his penis enough that eventually it would get bigger. The man eventually found out that he was able to make his penis bigger by pulling on it. Th...

    By: Lillie Eldredgel Sexualityl 15/07/2010 lViews: 13

    As the dating tips master who has helped millions of men date sexy women no matter their looks, age or income, I've heard all of the stories. I hear it over and over—"It was going so great, and then she disappeared on me… why? What happened? We were having such a great time together. I'm tired of this happening. I want to date sexy women, but I want them to stick around. Do you have any dating tips for me?"

    By: John Alanisl Sexualityl 05/05/2007 lViews: 986 lComments: 1

    When Dave married Sue, his high school sweetheart, he envisioned the typical marriage scenario. He dreamed of a big house with a white picket fence, a couple of kids, career growth, prosperity, grandkids, retirement and maybe even adjacent burial plots.

    By: John Alanisl Sexualityl 05/05/2007 lViews: 1,883
    Janus

    If you are just beginning to learn the art of picking up women, you need these tips to get your game to a whole different level.

    By: Janusl Sexualityl 25/08/2010 lViews: 432

    If you're especially attracted to beautiful Asian women, I can definitely understand. I'm a huge fan of hot Asian girls and have dated a wide variety -- including Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Filipina, Indonesian and Thai girls.

    By: deanl Sexualityl 10/08/2010 lViews: 458

    You will be a man who is busy at work and doesn't have time for a committed relationship, or you'll be a person who simply doesn't want to be in a committed relationship and would rather live to tell the tale your own for now - but that doesn't mean that you do not need sex!

    By: Black Tonyl Sexualityl 19/03/2011 lViews: 25

    Want to know some ways to get a bigger penis? There are quite a few different methods being touted as the ultimate procedure. Before you buy a penis male enlargement plan read this article for some ...

    By: Michelle Dematteol Sexualityl 21/08/2010
    John Dugan

    Erectile dysfunction can interfere with a man's quality of life. Stress may be the culprit, and finding ways to manage it is an important element of penis care.

    By: John Duganl Sexualityl 01/10/2014 lViews: 32
    John Dugan

    What are the best techniques men can use in any setting to hide an erect penis? Find out here.

    By: John Duganl Sexualityl 30/09/2014 lViews: 59
    John Dugan

    Dry penile skin can have some surprising causes. Here are just some of the issues that can lead to a parched, itchy penis.

    By: John Duganl Sexualityl 30/09/2014 lViews: 30
    John Dugan

    There are countless products for men who want to improve their performance in the bedroom; however, sometimes, sex enhancement is best achieved through these lifestyle changes.

    By: John Duganl Sexualityl 29/09/2014 lViews: 23

    Men with reduced penis sensation may be skipping these three essential penile care steps.

    By: man healthl Sexualityl 29/09/2014 lViews: 60
    John Dugan

    This surgery isn't right for everyone, but some adult men have reason to pursue a circumcised penis.

    By: John Duganl Sexualityl 28/09/2014 lViews: 35
    John Dugan

    Sex can be highly satisfying no matter what a man's penis size. This guide helps men learn the best positions for what they're packing.

    By: John Duganl Sexualityl 27/09/2014 lViews: 92
    John Dugan

    A man doesn't have to be bored with his solo play routine to try new things. Check out these inventive masturbation techniques.

    By: John Duganl Sexualityl 27/09/2014 lViews: 117

    One of the most important factors in creating sexual tension is your ability to not act needy... which has more to do with your self-image and overcoming your insecurities than it does with your "behaviors" alone.

    By: David_DeAngelol Sexualityl 23/06/2008 lViews: 224

    Roll playing is fun, and if it's done right it can really spark this tension that we're talking about. The point is that you have to spark it. You must lead the way, and you must do something to create that little moment where things transition into "we're playing like adults". Women feel this, and respond to it instantly.

    By: David_DeAngelol Sexualityl 23/06/2008 lViews: 297

    Women, and especially attractive women who are approached all the time by loser guys, don't enjoy dating guys who are boring, predictable, and lame. They love guys who are unpredictable, mysterious, and challenging. They love guys who keep them guessing what's going to happen next. And they love guys who can keep the tension building, and not let up.

    By: David_DeAngelol Sexualityl 23/06/2008 lViews: 1,207

    To a woman, Sexual Tension is the feeling that she feels during those times when she is interacting with a man that she feels attraction for... but she doesn't know exactly what's going to happen.

    By: David_DeAngelol Sexualityl 23/06/2008 lViews: 1,340

    Here’s a common problem: A man tries to impress a woman by doing things that show that he’s a good LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP kind of guy, but the woman responds by being stand-offish. I have read some interesting research that shows that women have a few main categories in their minds in which they slot men.

    By: David_DeAngelol Sexualityl 12/06/2008 lViews: 138
    Author Box
    Articles Categories
    Quantcast