Sexual Innuendos and Other Funny Dating Advice
Here's a little mini-course on how to be funny:
First, go read Comedy Writing Secrets by Melvin Helitzer. And while you're at it, watch some good stand up comedy routines like Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy, and Robin Williams. Listen to how they use word play, double meanings, exaggeration, and misinterpretation to create humor.
It's time to get yourself a set of standard things that you can say in some of the most common situations.
Here's a list that I use personally and examples of instances when you can use them:
1. Whenever someone has an emotional response to something, say, "How do you REALLY feel about it?" For instance, if a woman says, "I just HATE it when people smoke around me!" say, "How do you REALLY feel about it?" The sarcasm is that they've shown that they have VERY strong feelings, so the "How do you REALLY feel" creates a joke on them that they're overly emotional.
2. Say, "Anyway" and look away quickly after making a wisecrack. For instance, if someone says, "That girl over there is ugly" say, "Oh, I thought she was you – anyway" (look away quickly). The looking away and quick "Anyway" (trying to get off the topic) creates a funny moment.
3. Misinterpret what women say. Always listen for opportunities to misinterpret words. If you say, "Let's go over to the bar to have a drink" and the woman says, "Let's do it", turn to her and say, "Let's do it? You mean right here? I think the line for a bathroom stall is too long, and I'd rather have a drink."
4. Look for sexual innuendo in everything and use it to accuse her of trying to seduce you before you even know her. If she says, "Well, I'm getting tired, and I think it's time for bed", say, "Bed? I mean, I don't even know if you know how to kiss... and you're trying to get me into bed? What happened to the old days when you could be friends first?"
5. Exaggerate. If an overweight woman walks by, say, "What would you guess? 900 pounds?" Or if a woman complains about a part of her body or her clothing (I love these opportunities), exaggerate it. For instance, if she says, "My hair looks like hell today", you say, "I didn't want to say anything." Ohhhh this is funny stuff. You'll usually get a hit on the arm (in which case you can spank her on the ass). Then you can go on all night making fun of her hair, talking about how everyone is looking at it, how you're embarrassed to be seen with her because of it, etc.
6. Connect things around you to current affairs in a funny way. If a woman with a huge butt walks by, say, "Hey, Jennifer Lopez is in the house." If a woman starts talking about how she just bought herself a new car, say, "I like the effect that the Independent Woman song is having on you." (These are, of course, currently funny. Next year, it will be a different set of things.)
7. Don't smile too much and don't laugh at your own jokes very often. When you smile or laugh, it releases the tension. If you can keep a straight face, the joke stays funnier longer.
OK, there's a list of basic things that I've learned regarding humor. I'd recommend that you start studying humor, read books about it, go to comedy clubs, and learn more advanced skills.
Also, start reading Maxim and Stuff magazines. Read how they always use reversal humor. This is some good funny stuff.
Discuss this Article
Advice on intimacy and sex for women from a male perspective, excerpted from: www.datingadvice.us, a dating advice site exclusively designed for women.
Sex Tips And Techniques Advice Dating Internet Dating Sites Tips For Meeting
Bigger Free Make Penis Enlarge Your Penis Exercises For Free Free Dating Advice Tips
A long time ago a man got an idea that if he pulled on his penis enough that eventually it would get bigger. The man eventually found out that he was able to make his penis bigger by pulling on it. Th...
As the dating tips master who has helped millions of men date sexy women no matter their looks, age or income, I've heard all of the stories. I hear it over and over—"It was going so great, and then she disappeared on me… why? What happened? We were having such a great time together. I'm tired of this happening. I want to date sexy women, but I want them to stick around. Do you have any dating tips for me?"
When Dave married Sue, his high school sweetheart, he envisioned the typical marriage scenario. He dreamed of a big house with a white picket fence, a couple of kids, career growth, prosperity, grandkids, retirement and maybe even adjacent burial plots.
If you are just beginning to learn the art of picking up women, you need these tips to get your game to a whole different level.
If you're especially attracted to beautiful Asian women, I can definitely understand. I'm a huge fan of hot Asian girls and have dated a wide variety -- including Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Filipina, Indonesian and Thai girls.
You will be a man who is busy at work and doesn't have time for a committed relationship, or you'll be a person who simply doesn't want to be in a committed relationship and would rather live to tell the tale your own for now - but that doesn't mean that you do not need sex!
Want to know some ways to get a bigger penis? There are quite a few different methods being touted as the ultimate procedure. Before you buy a penis male enlargement plan read this article for some ...
Sex tips can help men improve their sexual encounters. When considering such tips, remember that the condition of the bedroom has an impact on sex.
Uncontrolled penis odor can result in a major date disaster. Men want to make sure they take appropriate steps to eliminate unwanted penis odor before an outing with a potential partner.
Pornography is not everyone's cup of tea, but many couples who view it together find the experience can lead to better sex.
The search for perfect Valentine's Day gifts is on. This year, why not invest in presents that both partners can enjoy together? The following list of sex toys will help guide men and their partners to greater pleasure.
While some causes of penis bumps require treatment, others are natural and harmless. Men can learn about three types of bumps that may affect the penis but are not causes for concern here.
It's hard to fully enjoy sex when one has a numb penis. Restoring lost sensitivity (or preventing it from occurring) enables a man to enjoy sexual pleasure to the fullest.
An itchy penis is a common problem for many men, but it may present a special problem for those with a latex allergy, as it may make using condoms an issue.
One of the most important factors in creating sexual tension is your ability to not act needy... which has more to do with your self-image and overcoming your insecurities than it does with your "behaviors" alone.
Roll playing is fun, and if it's done right it can really spark this tension that we're talking about. The point is that you have to spark it. You must lead the way, and you must do something to create that little moment where things transition into "we're playing like adults". Women feel this, and respond to it instantly.
Women, and especially attractive women who are approached all the time by loser guys, don't enjoy dating guys who are boring, predictable, and lame. They love guys who are unpredictable, mysterious, and challenging. They love guys who keep them guessing what's going to happen next. And they love guys who can keep the tension building, and not let up.
To a woman, Sexual Tension is the feeling that she feels during those times when she is interacting with a man that she feels attraction for... but she doesn't know exactly what's going to happen.
Here’s a common problem: A man tries to impress a woman by doing things that show that he’s a good LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP kind of guy, but the woman responds by being stand-offish. I have read some interesting research that shows that women have a few main categories in their minds in which they slot men.